Saturday, August 9, 2008

Can people get owned more than once?

Somethings are just hilarious.

Like when your parents leave their keys with you in the car, you lock the doors and can't unlock it when they return. Then you panic and your palms start sweating making the pulling of the unlock switch practically impossible.
Yeah, hilarious.

Well I guess comedy and hilarity aren't just confined to me, sure there are loads of other people who are humourous too. Like who you say? Well Hanisah for one. So in lieu of National Day and our Singapore athletes heading for the Beijing games, we were give cards with Li Jia Wei on em. Wearing a white top, we were supposed to pen our well wishes on it. But c'mon, would i suddenly have a craving to follow authority and order? So i turned her into Li Joker Wei. Heh, i practically designed the joker on her face, I'll upload a picture as soon as my main computer is repaired.

On a side note, why on Earth is Li Jia Wei, NOT born Singaporean, bearing the
Singapore flag in the Beijing games?

And back. Hanisah thinks her Li Jia Wei is better. 3 lines of deep and meaningful text and a perfect depiction of the Singapore Flag. To any developing countries in need of a flag, ring up Hanisah and she'll astound you with her artistic flag-drawing techniques.

Simple logic in place now. Assume the only possible tasks in the universe is task A and task B. If i can perform both tasks perfectly whereas Hanisah can only perform 1 perfectly, i can hence conclude that i am better den Hanisah. She rebuts that she can recreate Li Joker Wei, but when requested to do so, refuses because of a highly valid reason, she just doesn't want to.

Well I can get a cap of 7.00/5.00 but I just don't want to.

Little girls are stupid. You can practically sell them a pack of fries twice, and they'll buy it the second time just because the superficial packaging is different. Not cause they need the extra carbohydrates or for any other remotely intelligent reason, they'll just buy it twice because of the packaging.

This is basically how the creators of Totally Spies work. Pretty clever they are, ripping off little girls. Don't believe me? Watch 2 episodes of Totally Spies, or more if u want to bleed from your eyeballs. And all of this will happen, in the EXACT order.

Girls leading their normal lives.
Primary problem arises. Usually something stupid like clothes or the blonde picks a fight with the squeaky one.
Uses a seemingly normal object and is sucked away!! You'd expect them to no longer scream after so many repetitions.
Secondary problem arises.
Gets the details and gadgets from the bald lecher and the sofa flips, transporting them away.
Encounters baddie(s).
Loses.
Baddie(s) tells them the whole plan while leaving them incapacitated.
Baddie(s) leaves to finish plan and chooses to let girls die a slow and unsupervised death.
Suddenly a gadget is remotely useful.
Suspenseful escape.
Beats baddie(s).
Bald Lecher arrives with helicopter and TONS of armed forces to pick up beaten baddie(s).
Secondary problem concludes.
Girls return to normal lives.
Primary problem concludes.
End.

This ain't a very long post, but i hope it's refreshing to all who read it.
And in response to the title, yes they can.

Buzzing!

Monday, March 3, 2008

A Crappy School

Maybe white is a bit glaring. I'll darken it to grey.

Sadly NUSH is sometimes ACS.

But before I state why, I'll inform you, the readers on a crisis happening in my house, I am out of underwear. I brought all to Spec Course and now they're all in the washing machine. Underwear deprivation, that's what it's called, parents only buy new clothes for new year, never new underwear. To all you parents out there, start buying underwear for children, underwear are the only article of clothing that still remain "the in thing", "cool & trendy", they will never be "out of style" or " lame and uncool".

The last time i checked, we had a Student Leader Investiture not a Council Investiture, there was a part where council was practically up there spouting bullshit completely unrelated to the other student leaders. And the most horrible part was when there was some kind of nonsensical charade where year 6 councilors were appreciated and given gifts from younger councilors. I've been controlling myself since then but its time to say it, if there's anyone who truly deserves to be on that stage getting appreciated for siphoning much life and soul to the school, it's Nat. But obviously he wasn't there, and guess why? Cos he's no longer a councilor. I should hold a ceremony sometime, where year 6 student leaders who truly deserve appreciation get gifts. Oh and the weird brick and mess design completely sucked, the bricks weren't red and the graffiti design, sorry that'll be insulting, it wasn't even graffiti or a design, the gradient sucked and what poor colour choice. Obviously there are many students capable of a much better design, but council giving up the honour?! Hell would freeze over.

Oh and I think that Clara Kong has an attitude problem. That's my opinion, whether anyone likes it or not. Honestly, she came up to our table, and engaged in a conversation with Wen Xiang about the english test later on that day, I just finished the health screening and was singing a song from finding nemo, with the word swimming changed to walking in the context of being on land. So I mused "just keep walking, walking, walking", shaking my head like dory did, I wasn't even looking at her, I didn't even know her, there's wasn't even any connection to her as she was clearly not walking.

To demonstrate this point, I'll give an example, Stuart's shooting hoops, and I shout to him to just keep bathing or eating or sleeping or some other verb in the continuous form. Stupid right? The phrase "just keep x", where x is a verb in the continuous form and not a girl, means for one to continue doing x, where continue implies that one was already doing x in the first place. The irony of it all? She teaches english.

Anyway, she asked me what I was doing, so I told her the truth and said singing a song from finding nemo. Then she went,"don't try to disrespect me!" or something along those lines followed by,"I can easily find out which class you're from". Seriously, I didn't get the point of the later part of the sentence, I don't recall ever having the assumption or idea for that matter that she couldn't find which class I'm from, so I guess it must have been a form of intimidation, not remotely frightening though. So she leaves and suddenly returns later to ask me for my class. A simple value, respect taught to me by other teachers and my parents came into application here. I could easily have said,"If my class was so easy to find out, why didn't you do it, instead of having to ask me?" but obviously I didn't. However, there was good from what happened, I guess Clara Kong did help my english skills after all, judging from proper paragraphing and grammar in the above paragraphs, or is it just cos I'm so freakin' awesome. Hmm..

Obviously, a CCA fully populated by men does much better in outside competitions and courses as from the results from the Specialist Course Phase 1. With only 10 men as compared to other schools with upto 30 men, NUSH took home 6 out of 11 awards. Here are the results:

GSK top scorer - Zach
Trainfire top scorer - BJ
Alpha Platoon 3 best cadet - Bern
Bravo Platoon 1 best cadet - Me
Bravo Platoon 2 best cadet - Ryan
Alpha Company best cadet - Zach

I guess we did a great job, Mr. Tham seems really glad for us. Anyway, there are 3 outcomes from the course:

Failed - Senior Corporal - In other words no promotion.
Pass - 3rd Sergeant - You did well enough.
Owned - 2nd Sergeant - You did damn freakin' well.

So we obviously had no failures, and had 4 2nd Sergeants, Bern, PHS, Zach and I. Pity, Ryan didn't get it too. Either way this proves that I'm better than PHS and Ryan, cos I got 2nd Sergeant and Ryan didn't and I got an award but PHS didn't. Haha(: Mr. Tham seems really happy for us, and I think we're all very hyper to completely thrash Mr. Tham's expectations(: I think that all the nominees for best cadets or company best were very stressed when the CLTs, Cadet Lieutenants or Cheap Labour Team, told 3 from each platoon to fall out then informing us that we failed and are thus senior corporals, however it was a borderline fail and we would retake a mutual test, meaning we had to conduct a lesson, and only if we did well would we be promoted to 3rd Sergeant. So we had to revise all our mutual topics cos the CLTs told us the topic would be given on the spot. Soon 2 of my platoon mates and I went into an auditorium where 4 CLTs sat, then they interviewed us, asking us why do we deserve a second chance, what's the difference between a 2nd Sergeant and a 3rdSergeant and other highly stressful questions. Then we were sent out to revise again, while CLTs said stuff like,"it's too late" or "should have put in more effort earlier". Afterwards the 9 borderline failures from the 3 Bravo Platoons came back into the auditorium for the mutual test, saw Han Siang with blotchy red eyes and Ryan with a stunned look. So a volunteer was asked to start the mutual and noone dared to so the brave Stanley went forward to ask for the impromptu topic, and I was given the topic,"Which one of you will be best cadet".

EVERYONE WAS SO STUNNED!! And Han Siang started crying tears of relief and joy and so did some other cadets, Ryan and I were speechlessly stunned. So anyway, Han Siang didn't get it, some malay guy who I had as a platoon mate in Camp FEAST did. Below is a nice little arrangement for my accomplishment?

I know it's nice(: Oh view it in negative, it's quite cool. So from top to bottom:
Top: Specialist Shirt
Middle Left: Bravo Platoon 1 Best Cadet Award
Middle Right: Army Bottle
Bottom Left: Beret with Singapore Crest
Bottom Right: 2nd Sergeant rank(:

This just in, I dropped my handphone into the toilet bowl today before my swim training; it's kinda screwed so don't expect any pictures for awhile till I get my new phone.

Damn.. Got headache.. Going for a nap now, bye.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Something's W(r)ong

Indeed..
You should have seen the original plan for the Healthy Life Style activity on Wednesday, my goodness it was, well.. plain freakin' wongwrong. Simple game of kidnapped, similar to the one the old batch of year 3s had at JBAC camp. Easy activity, one member of your class is kidnapped, you do some tasks and answer some questions to reveal his/her location, then there's supposedly a "key" that'll let you free the person. First class back with their victim wins.

M08308 won.
Naturally.
Not the point though.

There were 9 unlock questions, for each class. So ICs were Debra and Weijin. And guess what the questions were, in lieu of Healthy Life Style Week. What..(drumroll please) is..(drumroll intensifies) Weijin's..(drumroll unsynchronizes) Okay timeout, at this point in time when I read till here, my mind was frantically thinking, "Oh my god gosh, let it be anything, BMI, height, weight, cholesterol level, cancer stage" but as usual, some people never cease to let you down. Full question? What is Weijin's locker number?

I'll leave it to sink in.
In yet?

And that's just 1 out of 9. However I won't lose faith in the PSLs, at least some of them managed to set things straight and remove those questions.

Today I wasn't in form for the swimming competition, got last): Still I had fun at the fun pool, waiting for Christy to send the pictures. Oh and the toilet's freakin' cool, my first reaction when I entered was to swear and get stares from parents inside. They had sterilizer and UV light for combs, loads of hair styling cream, wax, gel, you name it. And hair revitalizer, needed that cos chlorine screws your hair. Nice toilet.

Speaking of hair, I got a haircut, dad thinks nothing got cut. I can't be bothered.

Night..

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Where's my M07203 picture?!

I still don't got it.
Hmph..
I think I was sticking my tongue out at the camera.
Hmm..

Yanling is an Ice Queen, makes sense dunnit? Michael spent over 3 weeks on the heart of roses and it's still in M08303's classroom. Oh and Michael's Ace King Jack, cos his initials are A.K.J. and look, the queen's missing, thankfully.. Oh noes, I needa draw Mr. Ho. Gahded..

This is a picture of M07203's class arrangement. Meant to post it long ago but kinda lost heart. So here it is?

Try and guess who's who. Worst comes to worse I'll intro everyone. Basic info, blue = guy, red = girl, blue + red = purple = gay. Colour used for simple description of classmate within their gender circle is also their house. What other stuff is in pictures folder? Hmm..

Don't know if message got across but yeah.. If you don't get it, say so, then I'll call you an idiot before explaining. Okay, I must advise the viewer's discretion. The next picture may be so gruesome, so mindbendingly twisted, that those of you with weak hearts may want to leave this page. You wish to stay? Very well, you have been warned.
ARGH!! It's satan's number, the devil's number, the number of the beast. It's the number 6, five times!!

Yeah, I sound moronic don't I? To all those idiots, preaching about evil numbers? Go to hell.
Au revoir(:

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Dead, because I killed it

(too lazy to properly colour)

Loved this video from YABO productions, basically it showed the dumb things emo and gangster morons do. Read the news about some Al-Qaeda stuff about training young boys to become killers, teaching them how to use guns, most notably the AK-47(to be honest I'm kinda jealous), doubt I'd be using an AK-47 in the future, most probably M-16. But seriously, on a less humourous note, this kids aren't exactly much of a threat, I don't exactly see how it is a SCARY video. These are kids without luxuries, throw a few X-boxes, PS3s and PSPs, and we'll see what 11 year olds prefer, the chance to blow up yourself or sweet sweet technological gaming.

Mom's car got damaged recently when I headed to school. Some bugger(for lack of a better word), accelerated as my mum turned towards the school entrance, side mirror detached. Personally I think there are 3 doors in hell, 1 for terrorists, 1 for feminists, and 1 for lousy drivers. Michael's next to me saying that the doors are biased, asking what happens if you're not a terrorist, feminist or a lousy driver. Well my good man, you go to heaven? Duh? Really dislike feminists, no better than chauvinists except that chauvinists are socially accepted. But honestly, if feminist wanted women to be above men, then yeah they're no worse then chauvinists. Oh? They don't want women to be above men? They want equality and equal rights? Then why the hell are they called feminists? Even their name contradicts their goal, how are we supposed to take them seriously, not that we would even if they rectified their error.

You should see the scratches too.

So it's 2 days after Valentine's day and once again, I'm posting late. Not too much to comment on Vday, nothing spectacular, nice sale of flowers by the PSLs(excluding the imbeciles).

Back to stuff that's happened, Video IR crew went to watch a compilation of shorts films at some place along Dhoby Ghaut, and one of the directors is keen to let us engage with him in his next film. Talk about freakin' lucky. And the very next day, we were cleaning the corridoors for the old people living in the blocks close to our school for CIP, and obviously, you'll need cleaning materials for that. And I recall having an English lesson, where propaganda bullshit was taught to us and that terms such as fireman, policeman, manpower, mankind were sexist and we shouldn't use them and bullshit, nonsense, crap. This is why it’s called MANpower:

Man, man, man, man, man plus cameraMAN.

Man, man, man, man, man, man, man plus cameraMAN, and look, even Tianlu is helping.

Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man plus cameraMAN. Notice how only the men(gay fags omitted) bothered to go and help, obviously, people had reasons when the word manpower was created, let's keep it that way.

I forgot what I was going to post about, so I'll cunningly distract you with pictures whilst I try to recall.

Slap me if I'm crazy but that looks like a sperm..

That's so totally not the NCC room key(:

Some mutant fish made out of water done during IR.

I can so relate to this(:

This was in school quite long ago but thought it'll still be nice to post it.

Apparently someone dislocated his knee, but it popped back. But they still took him, or the trip here would be wasted.

Sister drew this. Seems pretty cute and nice if not for the cross.

Haha, add a J in front.

Video IR excursion.

Don't fall into the pond, it's dirty, right Timo?

Some cool drawn Batman symbol.

Ever wondered what ACS stands for? Yeah me too. Up next, Keyuan's banana.

(:

Wanko(:

Swank(:

The kitten lies like a human

Yeah I kinda clicked the button a bit too early. Towards the right side's a tow truck. Meant to take that.

Vday flowers!!

Don't ask, I'm still creeped out.

Wasp grub from wasp nest at NCC room den had to be cleared.

And as you continue to be shocked by the gruesomeness of the last 2 pictures. I shall stealthily end this post.

Monday, January 7, 2008

I'm back, BABY!!

Guess I'll stick with this font for the time being.

Haha, a month since I posted. Can't remember my excuse for not posting and no going to bother. Live with it. Okay that seems harsh, thanks to guys and gals who actually wanted me to blog, not to mention pester and keep a record of how many days i didn't blog.. So orientation has finally ended(yeah like 3 weeks ago you lazy slacker) and I'm stuck with my new class, 308 for another 2 years(minus 3 weeks you lazy slacker). There are benefits though.

Most notably, I have received an upgrade; as of year 2008(plus 3 weeks you lazy slacker), I AM the 3rd tallest in my class compared to 4th in 2007. I remain confused with being in year 3, still referring to the year 2 shrimps as year 1s. They still look puny.

Several new students and teachers felt that this year's orientation was a success. Mostly because they haven't experience previous orientations. I have, and a standard has been set, this year is notably my worst orientation yet, it's been a sad decline from year 1):

OH!! I got a lollipop from Cheryl, there was a scorpion in it. The scorpion's body is still in my class, so feel free to drop by to take a look(the scorpion got ripped apart and scavenged by ants already you lazy slacker).

Shooting the intro video for the year 3 amazing race was fun. Raghav plans on doing video IR, whatever that is, either way, I'm in it. Yay(: Only part of orientation in which I really had fun was day 3, during the investiture we had to present a skit based on the theme for this year's orientation, conundrum and so we did(: This was the story we acted out, suggested by the only one sadistic enough, me(:

Pan(Narrator): It was a dark and foggy night.Rest of class: Ooh.. Ooh..
Pan: Hanisah was driving.
Strong men group 1, Stanley, Ryan, Shen Dai, John and Hanisah(Driver 1): Carry the makeshift car that Hanisah is "driving".
Pan: And so was Mr. Ho in the opposite lane.
Strong men group 2, Ying Wei, Jaryl, Hehao, Htoo and Mr. Ho(Driver2): Carry the other makeshift car Mr. Ho is "driving".
Pan: But then.. The next day, both of them were dead!!
Rest of class: Gasps of horror in Mr. Ho's case and shrieks of delight in Hanisah's case. Haha.
Mr. Ho: Pulls shirt higher so head is covered.
Pan: And as you can see, they no longer have their heads. So what happened? Question posed to audience who can try to answer the conundrum.
This is the part where people try to answer and fail.
Miserably.
Pan: Well they were both driving and it was a foggy night.
Strong me group 1 and 2 and both drivers: "Drive" out singing "the wheels on the car"
Rest of class: Sings too.
Pan: It was foggy right? So the fog condensed on the glass and both drivers could not see, so they stuck their heads out the window, and since the cars were coming in opposite directions?
Strong me group 1 and 2 and both drivers: Let cars "collide" and makeshift heads(netball and football wrapped in paper) fall out and roll.
M08308: Concludes

3 major things have happened in January: I'm mentor-rep, Fibo(whee!!) level-rep and my "greatest" achievement in Jan? I'm first to be banned.

Needa buy presents): For? Kai Hui, Cheryl and um.. Yeah.. Plan to do so on Wed after Video IR. Michael? When i said fold 1000 intricate thingies for her? I was kidding, try to aim for a more significant number. Eh? Wtf? Who am I to give advice? I myself need help!! This means you Christine.. Help!!

Bah. Getting damn pissed each day with the ERP here, it being unable to reduce traffic jams doesn't stem from it charging too little, but from the fact that the whole basis behind the ERP is stupid; charging money won't suddenly make cars magically vanish off the face of the Earth. All this stupid idea manages to accomplish is to force people to wake up earlier(making us grumpy and cranky and thus become lazy slackers; don't blame me for the lack of blogging, blame the government), in a desperate attempt to avoid the ERP. But hey!! Look!! Almost everyone thought the same way and went earlier as well, so damn smart government, thanks for pulling the jam to 5:30 instead of 6:00. It's an endless cycle, eventually, the ERP will operate even earlier and charge more and people will wake up earlier(and become more grumpy and cranky and blog less), resulting in the jam to be moved to an earlier timeslot. Brilliant idea isn't it? No really, there's no sarcasm there. You keep the number of cars equal or more, you don't remove the jam, you still charge drivers with an ever increasing ERP, basically you earn. Ingenious if not for the fact that I'm on the losing end.

Schedule too tight to post pictures(will do so when not grumpy and cranky).

Till then, bye bye(in an unnecessarily cute voice from worms armageddon, coincidentally the game that got me banned)!!